Holiday Sale

This Saturday night, December 22 (assuming the world does not end), from 7 - 9, I'm hosting a Christmas gathering in my studio/gallery and I hope some of you can attend. I will have these paintings on sale at discounted prices. If you can't attend, but are interested in one of the pieces, you can contact me through email, by phone, or through this website. Hope to see you there!

"After the Ball"

16x20

original price $2300

sale price $1500

 

 

"Stargazers"

20x16

original price $1200

sale price $600

 

 

 

"Like A Red, Red Rose"

10x8

original price $450

sale price $175





 

END OF DAYS

 

 

I thought I should probably write about the end of the world while I still have time.

I actually wrote about this once already in regard to Mr. Harold Camping, who predicted that the world would end on May 21, 2011. To his embarrassment (or maybe not…), he was incorrect in his assessment. I wonder what feelings are conjured up when one realizes that one has been wrong about the demise of humanity. Relief? Disappointment?

(She's getting all gussied up for the end of the world?)

 

Anyway…I’ve been sitting here at McDonald’s (most of you know that McDonald’s is not – for me – the best place for creative writing but, oh well…53 cent coffee) thinking of some of the more pleasant aspects of the end of the world, assuming that the Mayans were correct, though I’m not convinced…as one comedian has pointed out, they didn’t have pants. How advanced were they really?

Let’s think positive. I suppose you wouldn’t have to worry about your library fines. And we can all stop worrying about Charlie Sheen. Personally, I can quit worrying about cellulite, which is a good thing since it’s never going to go away. Ever.

I may as well just go ahead and cancel my gym membership. And I’m mentally thinking of all the unpleasant tasks that I might as well put off until the 22^nd. I think I’ll wait to clean out my car and mop my floors. And I will not be shaving my legs. It occurs to me that we should all put off any unpleasant procedures until after the 21^st. Elective surgeries…root canals…and definitely colonoscopies. It would really suck to go through a colonoscopy the day before the world ends.

I know some of you are probably thinking “how can she be so flippant about such a serious topic? That’s terrible.” The truth is that I’m not that worried. I think that I’ve worked it all out in my head. Since the Bible says that “no man knows the hour”, surely that would trump the Mayan calendar. These pants-less people can’t possibly have calculated the end of the world. Unless…the “no man knows the hour” is literal. Maybe the Mayans did know the day…but just not the hour. Oh, dear…I think I’ll have steak and ice cream today.

That having been said…I don’t think you should stop buying things. Like art, for example (subtle, huh?). In fact, in the spirit of the likely continuation of the world as we know it…I want to invite you all to visit my new page on Café Press. It’s an affordable way to add some of my art into your lives. Check it out! (while you can…)   http://www.cafepress.com/maryhortmanfineart

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MUSELESS

 

MUSELESS

 

 

I suspect that most artists would relate to my state of mind this week. I am uninspired to paint. Yes, it happens. But I must persist in spite of that inconvenient truth (apologies to Al Gore, though I doubt very much that he will ever read this).

So artists/writers and other such creative types are supposed to have muses…right? I suppose it’s not to be taken literally, but I get it. As artists (whether painters, musicians, writers, or whatever), we have creative impulses that are not science-based, but more…ethereal. So we’ve created an entity that embodies that factless notion. The muse.

The problem for me is that my “muse” is inconsistent. I call her Aunt Clara. No doubt you remember Aunt Clara from “Bewitched”...Samantha’s aging aunt with the colossal memory problems, who sporadically dropped in through the chimney, and stayed just long enough to create chaos. BUT…she had inspired moments. As I recall, she once caused the blackout of the entire eastern seaboard. That’s awesome. And didn’t she once turn the Tates’ kid into twins? Hilarious (Larry Tate...what a jackass). But mostly she just screwed things up.

 

So that’s the inconvenient truth of my artistic life. I’ll have to press on without Aunt Clara, and hope that she shows her ash-covered chimney-face as the week progresses. And who knows? Maybe I don’t really need her after all. That’s ridiculous. Of course I need her. We all need inspiration…

But maybe the inspiration comes with nitty-gritty work. First comes work…then the muse. After all, the muse can’t do much with an artist who has no skills. So for all my fellow artists out there…just keep putting the brush to the canvas. And assume that the muse will show. At some point. Hopefully without a blackout of the eastern seaboard...

 

 



 

A Bipolar Holiday Carol

I love/hate the holidays. So much pressure to be happy. Such pressure to enjoy being immersed in the bosom of one’s family…recollections passed around from one family member after another regaling all the idiotic things you said and did as a child/teen/young adult (or last year, for that matter). At a recent family gathering, an aunt starting recounting one of her favorite anecdotes concerning her daughter (my cousin) to a distant relative who had not had the pleasure of this story. The daughter said, “Mom…no. Seriously. NO!” My aunt gathered all the self-control she could muster and stifled herself - to my disappointment. What can I say? It was a funny story. And not about me.

Some examples of embarrassing childhood stories…this same cousin (you know who you are) and I built elaborate floor plans out in the yard by raking leaves into imaginary walls which delineated the rooms of our mansions (approximately 36 square feet or so…mini mansions), in which we lived with our pretend husbands Pat Boone and Rock Hudson. I was married to Rock Hudson (of course I’d be married to a closeted gay man). We also wore towels on our heads, pinned back in such a way as to signify long ponytails (it fooled no one) and then we would pretend we were dancing on “American Bandstand” with imaginary boyfriends. And just think…these are the stories I’m willingly sharing.

 

 

(This is the only Christmas painting I have...Santa is good. "The Santa Clause 3" is bad. Shouldn't that kid be about 35 years old by now?)

 

 

But then…there’s the food. And the happy childhood memories, towel-heads notwithstanding. I remember playing our family version of war games, in which my uncles (both WWII vets) would chase us kids through the woods throwing acorns at us. Gosh…that sounds cruel. But we LOVED it…such an adrenalin rush. We would even occasionally try to retaliate, but we were hopelessly outmatched. And there’s the food, of course (did I mention that already?).

Even now, I’m falling into the holiday trap…conjuring up memories of childhood, and family and friends who have come and gone. Happy. Sad. Conflicted. Stressed. What to buy for Aunt Rose? Okay, I don’t have an Aunt Rose. But you get my point. Right? Or am I just neurotic? Never mind…I think the answer to that question has long since been established.

But then…there’s the chocolate-covered cherries. And family anecdotes NOT about me. And young children with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. And Christmas music (enjoyable for the first couple of days). And “It’s A Wonderful Life” (enjoyable for the first 30 minutes). And the food, though I think I may have previously mentioned that.

Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas”…but then there’s those dogs barking “Jingle Bells”. Horrible. “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire” as sung by Nat King Cole…glorious. “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire’ as sung by Justin Bieber makes me want to cry. Fudge…fruit cake. Whiskers on kittens…bee stings. Ying…yang. I guess you have to have the bad stuff in order to truly appreciate the good stuff.

Well…I suppose I might as well just dive full-force into the eggnog-fruitcake-fudge-"White Christmas"-"A Christmas Story" for 24-hours straight - "Jingle Bells" melee and ride the bipolar holiday rollercoaster open sleigh with childish abandon. Sans towel.

 

 

 

 

CLEANING OUT THE ATTIC

NEW UPDATE: "Almost Paradise" is still at $150 (1 bid)
                            "This Little Piggy" is at $225       (3 bids)
                            "Moore's Store" is at $100            (2 bids)
                            "Pretty in Pink" is at $80              (4 bids, 2 bidders)
If you want to place a bid on any of these, you can send me a comment on this page, email me at maryhortman@ymail.com, or contact me via Facebook. The auction ends on Thursday at 5:00p.m.

As promised, I'm cleaning out the attic with the first of a series of art auctions. If you would like to bid on any of these pieces, you can email me, call or text me, or (if you're local) come by the studio/gallery. You can also contact me on Facebook and Google+.

The auction will go from today (Nov. 8) to next Thurs., Nov. 15. You can make a bid, or you can "buy it now" for the asking price. For buyers who live within a 50 mile radius of me, I will deliver the paintings. For out-of-town buyers, I will ship the paintings (buyer pays for shipping). Buyers can pay in person by check or cash, by mail by check, or on this website via PayPal.

Here are the paintings up for auction, and a brief description:

"Almost Paradise" (Breakfast at Piscke's)

22X18

oil on canvas

minimum bid $150...buy it now $800

 

For 11 years, I was part of a group of artists who met weekly for breakfast at a quirky little restaurant called "Pischke's Paradise". They still meet for breakfast though, sadly, there is no more "Piscke's". And sadly for me, I can no longer attend...the commute is just a little too much.

 

 

"Moore's Store"

20X16

oil on canvas

minimum bid $75...buy it now $350

 

In a similar style to "Almost Paradise", this is a backlit painting of Moore's Store in Ben Wheeler, Texas. The not-so-cleverly-disguised couple is Randy and Sherry Martin, both of whom represent the best of B.W.

 

"Pretty in Pink"

10X8

oil on canvas

minimum bid $50...buy it now $125

 

No particular story here, except that I like roses.

 





 

"This Little Piggy"

20X16

oil on canvas

minimum bid $75...buy it now $350

 

This is a cute little Ben Wheeler pig who participated (whether he wanted to or not) in the Feral Hog Festival a couple of years ago. I believe he was one of several little piggies who were chased by the charming, well-behaved children of B.W.

 

I hope you'll give me your feedback on this...I hope to have many future auctions, in that I am nothing if not a prolific painter and have very little storage space.





Short and Sweet...

No...I'm not referring to a person. Though I know a few people who are, in fact, both short and sweet. In this case, I'm referring to this post. I'm promising myself to post regularly...or at least semi-regularly.

Why short and sweet? First of all...I'm in McDonald's. On the one hand, they do offer free wi-fi and senior coffee (with two creams) for 53 cents. On the bad side, they have no outlets. Anywhere. Consequently, I'm operating on battery only. And I know how this goes. I type an entire blog...perhaps it's awesome. Let's say it's awesomely awesome (dream with me). I get to the end, I'm feeling proud of myself for writing such an awesomely awesome blog, and the battery goes "nighty night".

Also...I don't have a lot of time. And that's a good thing. I'm planning lots of new things. I have a workshop planned for November, and I'm also still planning to start a series of auctions of my older work, the massing of which is the down side to being a prolific painter, to say nothing of the fact that I've been painting for a very long time (translate "I'm old").

This afternoon I'm meeting with someone who is going to help me set up PayPal on this blog. Thereafter you will be hearing about the auctions.

As a final P.S., many of you know that I've written a book about my life in AZ as a working artist. It will soon be available on this site (fingers crossed) as an ebook. More about that next post...

I've had enough McDonald's for one day. I can already feel my brain numbing. Next time I'll post from Coffee Love, hopefully with a fully functioning brain...or at least I can aspire to full function. Fully functioning? Full functionality? Can you feel the numbing? Your welcome. No...fading fast..."YOU'RE welcome".

Starting from scratch...

I like starting anew. Once the hard part is over (meltdowns, hair-pulling...that sort of thing). Most of you know by now that I'm in Athens. I have a nice little studio/gallery, and I've also moved here.

I do have one little teeny, tiny problem. Many of you know that as a painter I'm fairly...prolific (undoubtedly an indication of how little social life I have). Anyway, I find myself with an over-abundance of work and an under-abundance of storage space.

So...for any of you who are interested, I'm soon going to start putting up some of my work up for auction on Ebay. If I can figure out how to do it. To say that my brain is somewhat technology-resistant is akin to saying that Charles Manson is somewhat scary...Paris Hilton is somewhat vapid. Well, I'm sure you get my drift.

I'm off to work on a painting, thereby accumulating even more inventory. I'll keep you posted on the Ebay thing...my over-abundance could be your gain.