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I thought I should probably write about the end of the world
while I still have time.
I actually wrote
about this once already in regard to Mr. Harold Camping, who predicted that the
world would end on May 21, 2011. To his embarrassment (or maybe not…), he was
incorrect in his assessment. I wonder what feelings are conjured up when one
realizes that one has been wrong about the demise of humanity. Relief?
Disappointment?
(She's getting all gussied up for the end of the world?)
Anyway…I’ve been sitting here at McDonald’s (most of you
know that McDonald’s is not – for me – the best place for creative writing but,
oh well…53 cent coffee) thinking of some of the more pleasant aspects of the
end of the world, assuming that the Mayans were correct, though I’m not
convinced…as one comedian has pointed out, they didn’t have pants. How advanced
were they really?
Let’s think positive. I suppose you wouldn’t have to worry
about your library fines. And we can all stop worrying about Charlie Sheen.
Personally, I can quit worrying about cellulite, which is a good thing since
it’s never going to go away. Ever.
I may as well just go ahead and cancel my gym membership.
And I’m mentally thinking of all the unpleasant tasks that I might as well put
off until the 22nd. I think I’ll wait to clean out my car and mop my
floors. And I will not be shaving my legs. It occurs to me that we should all
put off any unpleasant procedures until after the 21st. Elective
surgeries…root canals…and definitely colonoscopies. It would really suck to go
through a colonoscopy the day before the world ends.
I know some of you are probably thinking “how can she be so
flippant about such a serious topic? That’s terrible.” The truth is that I’m
not that worried. I think that I’ve worked it all out in my head. Since the
Bible says that “no man knows the hour”, surely that would trump the Mayan
calendar. These pants-less people can’t possibly have calculated the end of the
world. Unless…the “no man knows the hour” is literal. Maybe the Mayans did know
the day…but just not the hour. Oh,
dear…I think I’ll have steak and ice cream today.
That having been said…I don’t think you should stop buying
things. Like art, for example (subtle, huh?). In fact, in the spirit of the
likely continuation of the world as we know it…I want to invite you all to
visit my new page on Café Press. It’s an affordable way to add some of my art
into your lives. Check it out! (while you can…) http://www.cafepress.com/maryhortmanfineart
