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"Lonesome Dove"
16X20
oil
(perhaps she's been mistreated by a mean girl)
Living well is the best revenge. That’s what they say, isn’t
it? I’m somewhat torn as to whether or not I agree entirely on this sentiment.
I agree with it in spirit. In the extreme, it could go something like this:
A homely little girl is teased unmercifully at school. The
other kids call her “Speckle Face” (she has many freckles) and “Four Eyes”
(because mean kids are so clever with nicknames). “Bean Pole” (also very
creative)…”St-St-Stuttering Sp-Sp-Speckle Face” (of course she would be a stutterer). I’m sure you’ve
already formulated a clear picture in your mind of this poor, wretched little
creature. Or perhaps, not unlike myself, you identify a little too closely with
“Speckle Face” (I had a tad more than my share of freckles, wore glasses - once
my mom finally took me to the optometrist, who said that I was practically
legally blind), and yes, I had “bird legs”. But I digress…
Speckle Face then grows up to be a 1) famous actress 2)
brilliant author 3) editor of Vogue (wait a minute…that’s Anna Wintour…she
would have been one of the mean kids) Scratch that. 3) CEO of Chase…okay, she
would also have been a mean girl, but use your imagination, as best you can.
Speckle Face – all grown up now and a famous actress or CEO - is approached by
a former mean girl who now proudly proclaims that she was a former classmate.
Speckle looks down at her and says, “And what is your name? I’m sorry…I don’t
remember you”. To some, this would exemplify
“living well is the best revenge”. Or does it mean more than that?
Maybe Speckle just grows up to be a happy, productive adult,
surrounded by friends and family who love her and the mean kids grow up to be
unhappy alcoholics with terrible relationships. I mean…”revenge” implies a
negative consequence. Surely there’s revenge in this adage.
I once watched an episode of “Phil Donahue” (many…many years
ago) and the guests were adults who were teased and taunted in school. In the audience
were some of the former mean kids who had teased them. It was interesting to
watch, because the mean kids – now grown up – still didn’t really get it. They
mostly made excuses for themselves. And I would imagine that they probably had
some little meanies of their own at home, thus adding to their tendency to make
excuses.
So the adults on the stage – the ones who had been teased –
received very little or no reparation. But it was also pretty obvious that they
had much more character and depth than their former classmates in the audience.
The grown-up meanies appeared to be empty shells. But is having better
character enough revenge? As previously stated, the word “revenge” is embedded
in the phrase. Where’s the revenge?
Maybe this is at the heart of my dilemma. Maybe my issue is
with the “revenge” part. If Speckle is really living well, she has no vengeful
thoughts toward her former oppressors and only wishes them well. If she even
remembers them at all. As for me…
I – like most of you,
presumably – have been treated badly at times. Really badly. I wish that I could say that, like the delightful
Speckle, I have no bad feelings whatsoever toward my meanies. But that would
not be entirely true. I am able to put such things out of my mind, and I don’t
wish anyone true harm, but sometimes I think I would enjoy poking them in the
eye a couple of times.
I suppose that my philosophy in regard to this topic is
that, while forgiveness and living well (whatever that means) trumps meanness, a
little eye-poking would be enjoyable…with a single little tear rolling down the
meanie’s cheek in a symbolic display of forced contrition.
Of course if you grow up to be a beautiful model, actress,
or CEO…eye-poking would just be superfluous.
