A Bipolar Holiday Carol

I love/hate the holidays. So much pressure to be happy. Such pressure to enjoy being immersed in the bosom of one’s family…recollections passed around from one family member after another regaling all the idiotic things you said and did as a child/teen/young adult (or last year, for that matter). At a recent family gathering, an aunt starting recounting one of her favorite anecdotes concerning her daughter (my cousin) to a distant relative who had not had the pleasure of this story. The daughter said, “Mom…no. Seriously. NO!” My aunt gathered all the self-control she could muster and stifled herself - to my disappointment. What can I say? It was a funny story. And not about me.

Some examples of embarrassing childhood stories…this same cousin (you know who you are) and I built elaborate floor plans out in the yard by raking leaves into imaginary walls which delineated the rooms of our mansions (approximately 36 square feet or so…mini mansions), in which we lived with our pretend husbands Pat Boone and Rock Hudson. I was married to Rock Hudson (of course I’d be married to a closeted gay man). We also wore towels on our heads, pinned back in such a way as to signify long ponytails (it fooled no one) and then we would pretend we were dancing on “American Bandstand” with imaginary boyfriends. And just think…these are the stories I’m willingly sharing.

 

 

(This is the only Christmas painting I have...Santa is good. "The Santa Clause 3" is bad. Shouldn't that kid be about 35 years old by now?)

 

 

But then…there’s the food. And the happy childhood memories, towel-heads notwithstanding. I remember playing our family version of war games, in which my uncles (both WWII vets) would chase us kids through the woods throwing acorns at us. Gosh…that sounds cruel. But we LOVED it…such an adrenalin rush. We would even occasionally try to retaliate, but we were hopelessly outmatched. And there’s the food, of course (did I mention that already?).

Even now, I’m falling into the holiday trap…conjuring up memories of childhood, and family and friends who have come and gone. Happy. Sad. Conflicted. Stressed. What to buy for Aunt Rose? Okay, I don’t have an Aunt Rose. But you get my point. Right? Or am I just neurotic? Never mind…I think the answer to that question has long since been established.

But then…there’s the chocolate-covered cherries. And family anecdotes NOT about me. And young children with visions of sugarplums dancing in their heads. And Christmas music (enjoyable for the first couple of days). And “It’s A Wonderful Life” (enjoyable for the first 30 minutes). And the food, though I think I may have previously mentioned that.

Bing Crosby singing “White Christmas”…but then there’s those dogs barking “Jingle Bells”. Horrible. “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire” as sung by Nat King Cole…glorious. “Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire’ as sung by Justin Bieber makes me want to cry. Fudge…fruit cake. Whiskers on kittens…bee stings. Ying…yang. I guess you have to have the bad stuff in order to truly appreciate the good stuff.

Well…I suppose I might as well just dive full-force into the eggnog-fruitcake-fudge-"White Christmas"-"A Christmas Story" for 24-hours straight - "Jingle Bells" melee and ride the bipolar holiday rollercoaster open sleigh with childish abandon. Sans towel.

 

 

 

 

CLEANING OUT THE ATTIC

NEW UPDATE: "Almost Paradise" is still at $150 (1 bid)
                            "This Little Piggy" is at $225       (3 bids)
                            "Moore's Store" is at $100            (2 bids)
                            "Pretty in Pink" is at $80              (4 bids, 2 bidders)
If you want to place a bid on any of these, you can send me a comment on this page, email me at maryhortman@ymail.com, or contact me via Facebook. The auction ends on Thursday at 5:00p.m.

As promised, I'm cleaning out the attic with the first of a series of art auctions. If you would like to bid on any of these pieces, you can email me, call or text me, or (if you're local) come by the studio/gallery. You can also contact me on Facebook and Google+.

The auction will go from today (Nov. 8) to next Thurs., Nov. 15. You can make a bid, or you can "buy it now" for the asking price. For buyers who live within a 50 mile radius of me, I will deliver the paintings. For out-of-town buyers, I will ship the paintings (buyer pays for shipping). Buyers can pay in person by check or cash, by mail by check, or on this website via PayPal.

Here are the paintings up for auction, and a brief description:

"Almost Paradise" (Breakfast at Piscke's)

22X18

oil on canvas

minimum bid $150...buy it now $800

 

For 11 years, I was part of a group of artists who met weekly for breakfast at a quirky little restaurant called "Pischke's Paradise". They still meet for breakfast though, sadly, there is no more "Piscke's". And sadly for me, I can no longer attend...the commute is just a little too much.

 

 

"Moore's Store"

20X16

oil on canvas

minimum bid $75...buy it now $350

 

In a similar style to "Almost Paradise", this is a backlit painting of Moore's Store in Ben Wheeler, Texas. The not-so-cleverly-disguised couple is Randy and Sherry Martin, both of whom represent the best of B.W.

 

"Pretty in Pink"

10X8

oil on canvas

minimum bid $50...buy it now $125

 

No particular story here, except that I like roses.

 





 

"This Little Piggy"

20X16

oil on canvas

minimum bid $75...buy it now $350

 

This is a cute little Ben Wheeler pig who participated (whether he wanted to or not) in the Feral Hog Festival a couple of years ago. I believe he was one of several little piggies who were chased by the charming, well-behaved children of B.W.

 

I hope you'll give me your feedback on this...I hope to have many future auctions, in that I am nothing if not a prolific painter and have very little storage space.